“I’ve never sat down and stared at anyone before,” he said. “I am very sad about it.”
“That’s bad,” she said, shockingly.
“But I could try for the right human female,” said the man surprisingly.
“Well, that’s great,” she said. “How sad are you anyway?”
my bAD ATTEMPT
That bit of dialogue physically hurt me to write so don’t ask for a follow-up. Some writers might even say “hey that’s not that bad” and to you, good people, I am going to bop you on the nose and say “bad writer, bad.”
Now, of course, I acknowledge we all have our styles we go with. Some writers do deliberately write dialogue a certain way as it is their calling card. But…. well, I mean unless you are earning considerable kudos and money, there’s a possiblity it isn’t your style but just a way you know how to do things. Those aren’t the same things.
Writing dialogue that sucks is easy, but writing dialogue that is punchy and realistic is easy once you put in a bit of leg work.
There are three ways to recognize your dialogue sucks and three basic steps to getting better at your dialogue for writing that I’m going to cover in my usual colourful way. Use them as counterparts to one another:
- Stilted or Unnatural Dialogue vs Make it Natural
- Lack of a Distinctive Voice vs Fill in Voice with Backstory and Setting
- Too Much Exposition vs Show, Don’t Tell
These tips won’t magically transform your writing but they will help you if you put some work in. Dialogue is often one area people really struggle with, which is curious in itself considering our species predominately depends on speech. Of course, you may have a deaf/hard-of-hearing character or someone who is unable to speak, so they need other abilities but even those will have dialogue markers, just in different ways.
Dialogue Problem #1: Stilted or Unnatural Dialogue
You likely have read or heard a dialogue line that is so unnatural it takes you out of the scene. Now, because I’m mean to myself, I have one that sticks out in my mind and has many Star Wars fans rolling their eyes:
“Somehow, Palpatine returned,”
*said by an Oscar Isaac who looked like each word hurt to say.*
In the theatre at the time, this threw me for a loop. It’s hardly the first awful dialogue in movies but this one has been memed into infamy. When a character speaks in a way that seems forced or unnatural, and their words ram into the scene unnaturally, readers can feel jarred. I’ve put down plenty of books like this.
An example of something fitting is in Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. This book isn’t one I’m a fan of but I still remember talking to others when it was required reading for a group about the speech of Galt. All that motion that keeps the book going grinds to an awful halt as he expounds awkwardly, basically her puppet for her own theories. It is agonizing and each page felt like my soul was being sucked through type. So I don’t suggest letting your characters suddenly take up precious space with theories and feelings that make the reader go “wait, seriously, what happened to the book??”
This also covers when the writer becomes too formal or expository. People simply don’t talk that way much, even if they are dusty professors from silver spoon backgrounds. Going on and on, in a formal tone, is enough to make writers lose readers who get tired.
Counter it with: Make Dialogue Natural
This is a fun thing to do, if I say so myself. You can learn how to write dialogue better by reading books where the dialogue is punchy and realistic, or even watch movies/tv shows where this is lauded. One example of dialogue I love is Elmore Leonard and his books. This translated fantastically into the series Justified, where the writers took inspiration from his work. What you like in dialogue isn’t always the answer for your writing so go diverse in genre, characters, and settings.
Don’t read the books you find just for pleasure. Read them like a student. Try to figure out why they work so well. What is it that works so well?
If you want to step outside from books, sit in a coffee shop or store, and listen. Don’t eavesdrop, per say, but notice how someone orders their coffee, how they perform on their phone, how they talk to small children or spouses, or even how they interact when upset at someone.
You learn nuance and structure of sentences this way. You’ll learn that some dialogue pieces might never be said by certain genders or ages (usually), how accents become musical structure that words dance around, and how the flow of conversation doesn’t always follow typical “words words period words words comma words words period” framework.
Remember, use contractions for writing English-language stories. Very few people in normal settings will use a fully non-contracted saying if the shorter ones exist. We’re lazy by nature. You can use contracted vs non-contracted to also show how a character wants to be perceived in situations.
Make it your hobby to simply be noticing people and how they speak. Be aware and think how that may be something you write into your books or screenplays.
Dialogue Problem #2: Lack of Distinctive Voice
So artists have something called ‘same face problem’. My bestie, an artist herself, admits this had been a problem for a long time. To me, it is a comfort zone problem and it is no different for writers. This one I’m guilty of in first drafts myself. It’s annoying and hard to fix if you get too deep.
‘Same Voice Problem’ can make a story incredibly flat and unengaging. If everyone sounds the same, then there is no point in even having different characters, in my opinion. Just have one big hive mind.
Think about your best friend’s voice versus the guy you overheard at the grocery store. I bet you can pick them out in a dark room who is who. That is because voices are distinct. Everything from tone and accent to speed and inflection will distinguish the voices. If you lack that individuality, your dialogue will just be one voice after another, blah blah blah. Who cares?
Try to care.
Counter it with: Fill in Voice with Backstory and Setting
To pick up a screenplay voice idea, you can look at Guy Ritchie’s scripts to think of dialogue where the voices are distinctive even if from the same area. If you watch one of his movies, like RocknRolla, they don’t change the overall city much. But you can hear each characters background in their voice alone, from surly boss to the suaver sidekick.
Using the previous tip of “Go out and listen to people” you will be able to pull apart individual speech and apply it to your writing. So keep going with that. Study how people express themselves when angry, sad, happy, or frustrated. I bet their way of speaking changes.
One big help to making characters’ sound unique is to develop their backstories and personalities, and let that shape how they speak. They might know some slang or sophisticated language, depending on where and how they were raised. A street urchin from 1800s Victorian England will sound vastly different than the uppercrust Duke in Parliament.
You can take their backgrounds and make some unique speech patterns. For example, I wrote a character who always put ‘yes’ at the end of his sentence, regardless of if it was a question or not. Other characters ramble while some are characters of very few words.
Dialogue Problem #2: Too Much Exposition
Have you ever written a character who tells the events of everything to another one?
Please don’t do that. When you dump too much information, you risk tedious dialogue and it is wholly unrealistic. Now, I mean, as someone with ADHD I admit that I do get to monologuing myself but on the general scale you don’t want this to happen in your writing.
Characters explaining what they already know for the reader’s benefit is a lot like my Star Wars example in reverse. It is okay for your characters to be in the dark (avoid the awful way of putting it though). Leave them in the dark a bit; it builds character.
If you want to have a weighed-down story, leave in the exposition ranting. But it would be better if you avoided it
Counter it with: Show, Don’t Tell
Everyone has heard of Show Don’t Tell as if it has been branded on you since school. Likely has. But in dialogue it seems tricky, right?
Nope. It’s not.
Using your actions and interactions, you can convey information outside of dialogue. Rather than having a character say “I’m angry”, you can have them tightening their hands into fists, or pursing their lips and grumbling. A character with anxiety might fidget and their voice may wobble or come out rushed.
Avoid info-dumping by having your characters use subtext. This can help them imply things versus stating them outright. They can hint at past events or feelings, but they don’t have to explain it explicitly. If your character was a soldier in her past, you could have her bottle it all up and drop a bomb of her being in a war in just a few words at an opportune time. The impact is much bigger.
If you have to have some exposition, break it up. Don’t go into paragraphs of explanation. Spread it out over several conversations in your chapter or book. Let it come up organically and have interactions between characters.
How long does this take?
This by no means a prescriptive post. It can’t fix everything wrong with your dialogue. Try instead to take some of these hints and tricks to make your writing better.
Remember, for every problem, you have a counterpoint.
- Stilted or Unnatural Dialogue? Make it Natural by Studying People
- Lack of a Distinctive Voice? Fill in Voices with Backstory and Setting
- Too Much Exposition? Use Show, Don’t Tell
Take a long look at your writing, regardless of what it is, and read it out loud. Doing so will help you figure out where you might need some help and what tips you can use. Do it as often as you can because with practice you will improve every time you write.
Dialogue between characters are some of the most memorable parts of books. More than anything else, a character can say something that sticks with readers for years on. A simple phrase can really change outlooks or beliefs, at least for the book. By mastering dialogue, you are becoming a writer that is noticing potential in everything you see, hear, and do. Have fun writing it and remember to stay a learner, with your perspective always ready to adapt.