When I started writing, in what feels like a lifetime ago, I felt invincible. I felt miserable. Elated at one turn, frustrated at another.
The writer’s life. Though I have met plenty of writers who share openly their utter ecstasy of writing and creating, I have also met more than plenty that share their misery. Most common of that group is the ones going, “If only I could just write! But there’s not enough hours in the day! I have so much to do.”
Now, to contradict some other writers, I’m going to say that they are absolutely right. There aren’t. I don’t believe in that weird adage put out by the grind-set crowd of “everyone has the same 24 hours.” We don’t and I will scream that to the heavens if it helps you understand that. My 24 hours are not yours. Our responsibilities are not the same, our beliefs are not, our families, careers, sex lives, health, all of it is tailored to our individuality. So throw that out of your head right now. It’s bullshit.
There. Is it gone? Good.
There are many, many valid reasons to say “I can’t today.” Children being sick, school work taking priority, a presentation, a wedding, a party, medical care, all of it? Valid. Another note is that parents, single or married, don’t get to say their issue with time and writing is be more valid than single people either. Again: we all have our shit to cope with.
Finally. Done? Good.
What I am looking at is some of the more interesting way we come up with ways not to write. Not time. Time is something we have to make to be writers, either by writing during lunch hours and breaks, in the car, at the doctor’s office, or late in the evening when no one is around. The thing I hear is how it must be great to be a full time writer but if you ever say Ursula Le Guin’s schedule, you’d get that full time writers do not just spend 8 hours writing and crank out book after book. I have thoughts about authors doing that too but not today. If you are self-published, your time gets further split down into marketing and planning and web site management. Ugh. So cut your time in further pieces. Self-pub or trad, authors all have the same problem with time.
Moving on.
The thing I run up against in groups is the plethora of excuses. Many centre around the idea of self-worth. Either we are geniuses or we are losers. We write epics or we write sad fiction that no one even purchases out of pity. Other excuses are these oddly arrogant sputterings of how a writer could be better the *insert bestseller name here* but they don’t have marketing/skill/time to write and get published. There are plenty of stinkers that get trad published, far more than self-pub if you consider it in the long term, so that’s not it.
So why do we make excuses and throw validity behind them? Excuses such as “I don’t have writing space”, “I need writing software”, or “my laptop is too old” are so laughably bad that I want to give the offenders a pen, paper, and tell them to spend 10 minutes on public transit. There. You have undivided writing time and don’t need a laptop. I’m a magician.
Others linger on “what would my family think?” border on the way of putting words in other people’s mouths. Unless you are under duress and speaking your truth will see you executed, this isn’t going to fly as a good excuse on the Bullshit Airways either. You don’t know what your family will think. When my father first read a series I wrote under a pen name, there was some pretty hot scenes in it even for a fantasy novel. I was terrified, even in my 20s, to hear what he had to think. He thought it was great and could have cared less that his daughter wrote sex. So stop hiding behind others.
Excuses such as “I have writer’s block” have a bit of validity in the sense of depression and anxiety. Some of us genuinely fear success as much as we fear failure. But I have seen writers who flit about, discussing grandiose dreams and arrogant criticisms of writers and editors, while not producing anything and hiding behind “Well, I have writers block. Been that way 10 years now.” I mean, at 10 years I would say pick up a new hobby but still…
The thing about excuses that are valid is that they are insidious. They will be the reason you give up on a story, why you become one of the ‘I could have been a writer but… life, you know?” Resentment to the craft, to family and friends who are both supportive and hindering, will build until you throw it away in disgust. Valid excuses however are ones you can get help for. Family care, finding pockets of time, reading to learn, etc., all of that? You can find someone out there to help you. It is out there but you must discover the courage to ask for it. Hoping it magically happens won’t bring it about.
However, those excuses that are sparks off of our ego, our fear, our lack of skill? Those aren’t valid. Those are reasons to hide. But they are as poisonous and they can fester until they become very real reasons to you, so real that even me saying “Stop that. That’s no reason to say you can’t.” If I get hold of you early, and have you write down every reason you can’t write, and I can find a reason why you are just beating yourself up, you might turn from that path early.
There is one excuse that I hope is not the case for you. That the excuse is the actual truth of your situation: you don’t want to write. Writing can become a huge part of our identity that letting it go seems impossible. But if writing makes you miserable, becomes a chore, and you suddenly dread ever trying again, maybe you should stop. Give yourself a lengthy break; if your fingers itch to write, guess what? You’re okay. You just needed rest. But if you feel relief and never do much more than the occasional day dreaming. Then that truth, hiding under the excuses, was trying to help you get rid of the insane pressure you put on yourself.
Either way, just remember that everyone has excuses, valid and valid-seeming. You don’t get to say you are worse off than others when you don’t know the truth, but you do get to decide what you do with your excuses. Either you can coddle them, keep them close, or you can forgive them and let them go so you can keep writing. Find some time, take a notebook, and write. Doing that simple process is that easy and yet that difficult… and we all go through it.
I simply hope that what holds us back, me included, also gives us space to create when we need to, not just when we want to.